I’m back! Did you miss me?
Recently I took some time off to prepare for some exams. Needless to say, it was a stressful and much needed hiatus. After completing the necessary set of exams to establish my career as a solicitor, it left me pondering about my future.
I’ll be turning 21 by the end of November. When I was younger I thought I’d have finished my Bachelors, and cemented myself in firm that I love, on my way to the top in no time. At very least, to be certain of what I want to do and where I want to go.
In reality, I find myself floating, or more so violently twirling around this hurricane Ophelia, frantically grabbing at thin air, surrounded by nothing and everything at the same time.
I’m not ready. I’m not certain.
I don’t want to be an adult yet, but theres no escaping.
In our great battle, I have chosen flight instead of fight but you can only run for so long, until you are trapped in a corner with your back towards a wall in the face in all you have been running from.
I don’t want to pay taxes. Worry about how i’m going to eat. Face horrible bosses everyday. More importantly have this be my life day in day out, until I no longer have any health left in body or youth left in my soul.
I want to remain young. Care-free. With potential. And dream about the future and a successful career in delight, relishing the fact that is so far away that I need worry. I want to stay in the arms of my parents. The comfort and warmth. The feeling of safety.
But the reality has overshadowed every inch of my brain that not even morsel of fantasy or naivety can exist.
Still young yet grown.
You can get away with some foolish mistakes but you cannot getaway with doing nothing.
This is our phase were we create ourselves, and not find ourselves.
Escaping reality, will only mean escaping your dreams.
It is hard, it is a road of uncertainty but it is a battle you must face.
A moment escaped now with be paid in triple after.