The Art of not giving a F***! – Parody/Satire

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I have noticed something that is quite distressing about yours truly’s character, an illness, a flaw, an impairment!? One does not know how to exactly categorise ones recently discovered downfall but in short and put rather crudely it is the ability to not give a F***!

No, truly! This is a matter of grave danger and importance. I do not have the ability to care, not one once, not one gram, not a single f***! I cannot even say this, a fact that I am certain of 100%, wholeheartedly, as I really do not have the capacity to wholeheartedly state and feel anything.

Although,  this does have its fortuitous qualities, for example I am not one to give in to peer pressure and any form of name calling and bullying only warrants a mere blank stare and then endless laughter about the odd encounter with my dearly beloved, yet possibly mentally unstable sister.

However, this pails in comparison to its largely negative effect on one’s life. The spirit of “F*** it” is a force that is strong and consumes every aspect of one’s life. Study for the test….”F*** it!” Go to school….”F*** it!” Catch the bus ….”F*** it!” Go to work ….”F*** it!” Apply for that job ….”F*** it!” Clean the house ….”F*** it!” Finally start the diet ….”F*** it!”

I mean really! Is this not the most menacing demon you have ever seen!?

I feel like I am possessed by a maleficent spirit yet my unsympathising parents deem is mere “laziness”. Can you believe the cheek!

Oh diary you seem to be the only one to understand my laments! I have been searching to catch a f*** to further embark on a fortuitous life but one is still on the search.

On a lighter note, the Toffee Latte at McDonald’s is nothing short of divine! It soothes ones soul during these trying times. Learning to give a f*** is quite challenging but I will persevere in these difficult time and attempt to be kinder and more amicable to others and to restrain oneself from the rather fabulous Lindor chocolate that is on sale during this joyous season.

Why must bad things happen to good people?

Until Next Time,


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